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Green Jokes

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
Al Gore

One minute some impressive figure like Al Gore would be telling me to switch lights off; the next, I would see the Spice Girls appearing at Live Earth, and think "Well, maybe the human race doesn't deserve anywhere to live."
Mark Watson

How many climate sceptics does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. It's too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.

Robert Butler, environmental blogger

President Bush says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun.

David Letterman

They say if the warming trend continues, by 2015 Hillary Clinton might actually thaw out.

Jay Leno

President Bush has a plan [to fight global warming]. We can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius.
Jimmy Kimmel

President Bush is starting to get concerned about global warning, which is why he's trying to rekindle the COLD war.

Jay Leno

A parish priest is to offer ‘eco-sinners’ the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first ‘green’ confessional booth.  Obviously you can’t confess all your sins in one go but must separate bottle, paper and plastic confessions. 

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